epicrapbattlesofhistoryfandomcom-20200222-history
User blog:Dark Cyan/Cyan's Rap Battles of Literature 14: Oscar Wilde vs Bram Stoker
Hello, everyone. And welcome back to Cyan's Rap Battles of Literature! Oh, boy. Battle 14 already? There are only two more battles to go. My, how time flies O.o Anyway, Oscar Wilde was set to face a good many opponents in battle six before I scrapped using him entirely, and Bram Stoker was set to face Mary Shelley, but now they're against each other. This battle pits two Victorian Irish authors of famous gothic horror novels against each other, to see who reigns supreme. In one corner we have Oscar Wilde, the author of 'The Picture of Dorian Gray', and in the other, we have Bram Stoker, author of 'Dracula'. Enjoy! Beat: Sudden Death 'The Battle' 'Bram Stoker' (starts at 0:10) The master has entered the building. It's time to get Stoked! About to battle Oscar and bash the absolute shit he wrote. Guess I should count my blessings, and prey to the skies, That I left Trinity College just before you arrived. Got my writing noticed by giving theater criticism a whirl, Then married your sweetheart. Call me Mr. Steal Your Girl. Business Manager of the Lyceum's ripping you apart with sternness. Though I should get stricter and teach you The Importance of Being Earnest. 'Oscar Wilde' (starts at 0:30) I'm a gentleman, so I won't hurt your feelings unintentionally. But I get Wilde on the mic when I'm called to destroy an enemy. If experience is simply the name you gave your mistakes, Then a man claiming to be flawless has no experience in the first place. That or you're a fool who learned how to write by fucking up. You're rarely pure, and always simple. Should have kept your fat mouth shut. But it's fine. I forgive you. I bet that pisses you off. I'll play fairly from now on, seeing as I do have the winning cards. 'Bram Stoker' (starts at 0:50) Bitch, I wrote Dracula, the most famous monster of all Time! Find me a guy who's read Dorian Gray. They're rarer that you with a good rhyme! You're messing with The Jewel of the Seven Stars. I'm The Man! I'm the best there is Under the Sunset. To this day, I still have fans! You could resist everything but the temptation to throw away all your class. Visited male prostitutes and took them up the Snake's Pass! You got arrested and jailed for Sodomy. Can't say I really blame them. I bet after you died of meningitis, you started buggering Satan! 'Oscar Wilde' (starts at 1:10) Ah yes, Seriousness. The one refuge of the shallow. How can you hope to enlighten one who's friends with the shadows? The truth is, those whom the gods love are blessed to die young. You might actually learn something by reading my works, so hold your tongue! You're just a pain in the neck. My wit will live on in history! A "Gays go to hell" joke? really? There is no sin except stupidity! Besides, I'm Bi. Even in death I get kisses from girls. Dude, I'm the sweetest! This battle's over. I have nothing else to declare except my genius! 'Poll' WHO WON? Bram Stoker Oscar Wilde 'Hint For The Next Battle:' Category:Blog posts